bookmark_borderResuming Operations

Hey guys! Been a hot minute but I’m excited to say that things are rolling over here, and although June is already halfway over I still see it as kind of a come-back month for me in regards to my online shenanigans. Here’s what’s on deck:

Firstly, the Next video is back up on YouTube! Some of you might have noticed that it disappeared for a little bit, but it’s back! My guess is that Viacom added a bunch of Next episodes to their online catalogue once Paramount+ rolled around, and my video got caught when it did a big copyright sweep for Next clips. Once an actual human took a look at it, though, they saw that it was fair use and put it back up. So that’s nice.

YouTube-wise, I’m shooting for 2 videos this month! I’ve got a movie review that is SO close to being done, it just needs one more day of work. And then after that I’ve got a brutalfoods video cooking for the end of the month where once again I’m going to try something a little bit different, though with less blue screen than last time because dang that was a lot to edit.

Also I’m coming back to Twitch this month! My first stream back will probably be my annual birthday Fatty Bear stream to celebrate the big 3-0. It might not happen right on my birthday but it’ll be close. I’ve been spending a lot of time the past couple of months completely retooling my stream, and I’m actually super stoked to come back and try my new setup out. I already know what I want to do for some upcoming series, so look out for that!

That’s pretty much what I’ve got going on over here! Excited to have some new videos on the horizon, and I’m excited/nervous to get back to streaming! I should note that there’s a good chance that future video/stream updates won’t show up on Twitter, so you might want to be sure that you have notifications turned on for my Twitch and/or YouTube if you’d like to stay up-to-the-minute on those.

I hope you guys have been doing well, and that everyone had a nice E3!


I was quiet last month but here I am! Still here. Patreon Pals, I just a heads up that I did not charge for April. I thought I was going to have a main channel upload last month, but the idea didn’t really pan out so I ended up spending more time chipping away at my Big Video, instead. I’m still really determined to get that done at some point, it just sucks not having anything to upload after working on it for so long. But that’s fine, I’ll get there eventually.

As for this month, though, April will see an exciting new entry in the brutalfoods series. It could end up going very poorly, but I’ve decided to get a little creative with this one, so… idk I guess we’ll see how it goes! I’ve got a brand deal on this one, so for sure new video in April. It’s kind of nice being contractually obligated to finish a video, I work quickly under that kind of pressure.

I’ve still been working a lot in Unity. Game development is definitely where I’ve been most inspired lately. Just recently I’ve achieved my first functional gameplay elements in the form of a bowling mini game! It’s honestly super, super, basic, but I am also super proud of it. It registers when you’ve thrown a ball, it keeps track of which pins have been knocked over, it moves from frame to frame. It even has a (usually) functional ball return and whatnot!

If I can finish out the rest of the building (the bowling alley is only half of it), I’m considering doing a little moose2 video showing it off and talking about how I did it. I think some people might be surprised to see how accessible visual scripting can make game development. Something about it just really clicks in my brain, it’s almost like a puzzle. I haven’t written a single line of code myself and it doesn’t seem like I’ll need to, which is neat because I really don’t want to have to learn how to code. Anyway, that’s how my game dev journeys are going these days. I’m trying to build some interesting looking buildings and create some interesting mini games, and then just see where that takes me. I’ve gone through a ton of Unity files while learning how to do all this shit, but this one feels like it might actually yield something shareable one day. We’ll see!

I also have music and streaming on the mind lately. I don’t know where I’m going to find the time for those, but I’d like to some time soon. I would love to muster the courage to stream some Unity work honestly. As much fun as the game-playing streams are, I’m really becoming obsessed with the idea of getting to create something new rather than creating content based around other people’s things. Not just in streams, but videos too. That’s probably why I feel driven to take some more chances with brutalfoods. I love to share my opinion on things, but I want to do more than just opinionize about things. If that makes sense.

That’s all that’s new over here, really. I become eligible for vaccination next month, which I’m stoked about. Brutalbf and I just watched Death Note again, which was great as usual. We also watched the Netflix live action Death Note movie for the first time, and it was just… awful. Hilariously bad, it was quite a ride. I love that they turned Light from like a smart, cunning sneaky guy into just a whiny little bitch. Comedic genius.

What are you guys up to these days?

bookmark_borderguestbook temporarily broken

Hey guys just a quick post to let you know that if you submit something to the site guestbook, it might take a little while to show up. The plugin I use needs to be updated, I’m pretty sure, so I’m just waiting until that happens.

I’ll try to be be back with a mid-s’March update blog here in a bit! I’m working on a new main-channel video that I’m really jazzed about, I can share a few more details in a bit.

Hope you all are doing well!

bookmark_borderNew moose2 video!

Hey hey! I posted that brutalmoose-ish video over on moose2, so you’re free to go watch it if you’d like. If it feels like a main channel video, well that’s because it basically is. It was all queued up to go on the main channel, but I just changed my mind and decided that it didn’t meet my quality standards so it’s getting put on moose2 instead. It’s kind of like going straight-to-DVD, except it’s still streaming on the same website so both options were pretty identical so why even bother changing my mind.

Anyway I hope you like it! I’ve been working on some more moose2 content that’s going to feel way different than this video does. You should start seeing some of that next weekend, I hope! We’ll see how it goes.


Is anyone else playing chess? My friend from back home recently started challenging me to online chess matches and now I’m pretty hooked. My record against him is 2-18, so I’ve been trying to improve my game because I refused to be humiliated like this forever. I’ve been sucked into the blossoming chess scene on YouTube, watching match breakdowns and strategy videos. I bought a chess book. TWO chess books. One is way too hard for me, the other is basically just a chess puzzle book. I like that one. I already saw Queen’s Gambit so I didn’t watch that, but needless to say I have been really into chess. I’ve been obchessed.

If you play on you should challenge me. (Actually now that I’m looking at it I have no idea how to challenge someone. Hopefully that’s something you can do? I think it is? If you know let me know. If you have to add me as a friend to challenge me that’s cool too!) I like playing the 1 day correspondence games. The shorter timed matches seem super intimidating, I need time to think! I am currently rated 1399 in Daily but I have a hard time imagining that’s very accurate. I’ve only played 6 games and a couple of those have been won by time out.

bookmark_borderMarch Thoughts

Anybody else happy to be done with February? I had a bit of a rocky one, so coming into a new month feels like a breath of fresh air. I’ve got some thoughts about what I want to do this month, and now I’m going to talk about them!

That ‘brutalmoose-style’ video
I mentioned previously about a new video I was excited about because it harkened back to the day of earlier brutalmoose. I completed the video, then shuffled my schedule around and released a brutalfoods first instead. My plan was to release this brutalmoosey video the following weekend, but when I rewatched it I really didn’t love it as much as I thought I did. I’m sure it’s fine and I’ve just looked at it too long, but for whatever reason I was less enthusiastic about it and got cold feet about posting. I wasn’t really sure what I should do with the video, until I realized ‘oh yeah I have a second channel’. So that video will be going up on the second channel sometime this week!

more moose2
After remembering that I have a second channel, I was like “Oh yeah I planned on using that some more, didn’t I?” And I instantly got some really fun ideas for second channel videos. I want to work on some of those these month, because I really do think I need to work on some lower effort (and lower exposure) content after finishing my latest brutalfoods. They might get a little interactive? We’ll see…

I will not lie, I have been enjoying my unplanned vacation from streaming. Juggling videos and streams at the same time can be so stressful for me, but last month I was just so busy with video shit that I didn’t even have time to think about going live. Well, now I have some time to think about it. Game streams still don’t sound all that interesting to me right now, I just don’t feel like a huge gamer at the moment, but I do still want to explore some other “IRL” stream ideas… Let me know if you have something that I could do that seems fun and simple. I’m trying not to do any specific date estimates about anything because I am famously terrible with meeting my timeline goals, but it is on my radar. I know it’s been a while.

main channel
I want to do something new on my main channel, but at the same time I’m honestly growing a little afraid of my main channel. brutalfoods has just gotten so popular. Which is seriously awesome. But at the same time being on such a large stage is super scary for me, even if it is a digital one and I’ve been doing this for 7 years. That could also be another reason why I’ve shied away from streaming a little, honestly, I’ve got that mad stage fright.

I really proud of how far I’ve gotten on YouTube, I’m just hitting a moment where I feel like I need to step up my game a little if I’m going to be seen by so many eyeballs. I really want to produce slam-dunk content on my main channel, and I don’t want to get too used to a routine or anything like that… so I am thinking of taking some chances in the future. Also more brutalfoods too at some point (next month?), because I’d like to take some more chances from within that format, too.

So I’ve finally made a decision about Patreon! I was so close to closing it completely, but some messages from longtime Patrons and my fondness for having viewer names appear at the end of my videos have swayed me. I’ll make a longer post about this over on Patreon, but going forward I think I’m just going to pause it whenever I feel like I’m not producing enough content to justify even having a Patreon in the first place. I think that I need to reframe Patreon in my mind. Change it from being a “pressure to perform” into a “motivation to deliver.” If that makes any sense. I’ll write a post for Patreon soon, I’ve honestly just been nervous to write it. Update posts are stress-inducing! Anyway on with my update post.

game dev
Believe it or not I am still chipping away at developing some type of digital interactive experience. Lately I’ve been working with a Unity plugin called uModeler and holy shit, it has changed everything. It’s an expensive asset, but I’m designing levels so much faster than when I was trying to model them in Blender and import them into Unity. My hope is to build a small adventure experience that I can share and then possibly expand into something bigger if I want. Or maybe I’ll just start something new afterwards. But I’m trying to keep this one small, because I have a habit of letting my imagination get a little out of control and then my idea grows too big to complete. This is still a long ways out, I just like talking about it a little bit.

Is that everything? I think so. If I sound a little all over the place it’s because I am, haha. And if it sounds like I’m a little anxious, it’e because I am. The lockdown is really, like… I’m over it. It’s hard to produce fun and lighthearted content when I don’t go out and do anything anymore, you know? You write what you know, and my videos and streams typically coincide with my interests at the time, but it’s hard to be interested in anything when you’re not really doing anything. It can be hard to entertain when you’re just like cooped up and stressed and… again, just over it. I know I’ve got it easy in the grand scheme of things, but man. This shit just sucks for everybody. Stab me with the vaccination, I’m ready to be stabbed and then go to the arcade again.

Also hey thanks for reading this blog and leaving comments and stuff! It’s been really fun using this website to connect with everybody instead of a larger social network. The internet is just so intimidating to me right now, I just want to hide away in my little website hole.

bookmark_borderThe ol’ switcheroo!

Hey hey! Short post today, this is just coming on the heels of my new brutalfoods! I hope you enjoy it, it is quite the long-y.

I’m mostly just here because in my last post I said that a brutalmoose video was coming before the foods, and that didn’t happen. BUT, the good news is that the other video is actually complete, I just ended up swapping the order of posting them because of scheduling whatever and whatnots, you know how it goes. That video is still inbound, though!

Anyway I hope you enjoy the food video. More exciting fun stuff happening soon that I am excited about!

bookmark_borderLate January Project Updates

Hey hey, I’m here with a few project updates! Lately I have been very video-focused in my efforts, so I don’t have a lot of updates in any other areas really.

next up: New brutalmoose video!
I’m currently editing a brutalmoose video that I’m really excited about, because I think it’s got more of a ‘classic brutalmoose’ vibe than some of my more recent installments. I think this is the first time in a while that I’ve just sat down and roasted something stupid, and I had a lot of fun doing it. I’ve still got a few shots that need filming and I also need to edit it, but I’m hoping it’ll all come together nicely (and quickly!)

mid-february: New brutalfoods episode!
I have acquired the food for this video (it’ll be another taste-test-review-type-deal), and I’m pretty excited to film here in the next day or two! It might end up spawning a recurring segment for brutalfoods videos, we’ll just have to see how people like it. But I’ve already signed up for a brand deal for this video so I’m pretty positive that you can expect this one on-time.

down the line: Big Video!
The Big Video has resumed production! I’m going to try and keep working on it every now and again so it doesn’t fall by the wayside again, or it’ll never get done. I did get burned out and have to shelve it for a while, but coming back to it with fresh eyes and I’m really stoked to chip away at it some more. I just finished up the rough edit of all of the footage I’ve filmed so far, so now… it’s time to film some more footage. No idea when this one will be done, the only thing I can promise is that it’s going to be very long.

All in all, I’m feeling pretty good with my work right now! No surprise, but pulling away from Twitter some more has made it way easier for me to relax and get into a creative groove. I’ve also tried to be more active in my Twitch Discord lately, and it’s been a great place to connect with people and chat for a bit without all the internet noise. So overall, things are moving smoothly and I’m excited to start uploading some more videos soon! Obviously I still have my other projects on my mind – streaming, drawing, blender, music – but right now I’m chasing some YouTube inspiration because it can be rare for me to have any of that lately haha. In my free time I’m mainly still thinking about my game project, but I’ve hit a bit of a wall there so right now it’s mostly just brainstorming.

That’s all I’ve got for now, but I hope to be back soon with a video for viewing. Have you guys been working on anything cool lately? I’d love to hear about it.

bookmark_borderShenmue thoughts

This is just a post about Shenmue.

I’ve been putting longplays of Shenmue in the background while I work on videos lately, and dude I just love these games so much. I really wish there were more behind-the-scenes videos about the making-of, or even just some more interviews with Yu Suzuki about the franchise, because I would eat that shit up.

Right now I’m in the middle of watching Shenmue II, and it’s making me eager to replay this one. As much as I enjoyed it, I’ve come to see it as my least favorite entry in the series, but I think I need to replay it to be sure. Honestly when I think back to playing it on stream, all I really remember is running the Lucky Hit stand and getting lost in the huge world. I think giving it another try would change my perspective on that because I’d be a bit more familiar with the map from the beginning. There’s a lot of story stuff and characters that I’d already completely forgotten about, so it’s possible I was too distracted with getting lost to really retain all that Shenmue II had to offer. I’m really enjoying watching the long play, though, it’s such a chill series.

It’s a shame about Shenmue III. I’ve been reading a bit about how it performed commercially, and it seems like not great. I was also reading about how if Yu Suzuki ends up making Shenmue IV, he wants to make it “more accessible to a mainstream audience,” which breaks my heart. I mean I get it, this shit costs money so it needs to make money, but still. It sounds like if we get another entry, it’s going to be faster paced, which ehhhhhhhh ehhhhhhh. Maybe there’s a way to please gamers with a revamped Shen-sperience while also maintaining the original Shen-spirit, but I have my doubts. Either way you know I’d play it.

And what’s happening with that Shenmue anime they announced? That seems pretty interesting, but I honestly have no idea how they’re going to translate the first 2 games into an interesting anime. An exciting challenge for sure.

Are there any other adventure games you’d recommend for longplay-watching? I’m really interested in games with detailed, explorable worlds like Shenmue has. But not Yakuza. If you suggest Yakuza I’m going to delete this website. I don’t mean to be rude I just already know about the Yakuza games. Do not recommend Yakuza. But if there are any other games with good long plays, let me know! Shenmue is just too perfect, it’s like watching a movie with gambling in-between plot points. I love Shenmue.

Alright back to work on video.

bookmark_borderMystery Tapes #5 on Saturday

The belated Christmas Special episode of Mystery Tapes is complete and will be posted this Saturday! It’s a nice longie at about 38 minutes, and covers 2 VHS tapes!

Polar Express stream is to follow some time early this month. Still not sure what I’m going to do in between gameplay segments. I looked high and low for a gingerbread house kit around Christmas but everywhere was sold out at the time. Maybe I’ll be able to find something now? Do they make gingerbread house kits in January?

Also, if you’re supporting me on Patreon you might notice that you weren’t charged for this month (January). I’m sure I’ll make a longer post or a video about this but I’ve decided to close my Patreon, at least for the time being. Right now it’s still technically open, however it’s ‘paused’ so new charges won’t happen, but the plan is to close it entirely this month. My upload rate last year was really slow compared to previous years, and even though I re-phrased my Patreon to cover not only my YouTube and Twitch but also my other artistic endeavors, it still just doesn’t feel right since I don’t post art or music frequently either. It’s the same reason I sometimes hide the donation button when I stream, sometimes it just doesn’t feel like I’ve put in the work to deserve it. On top of that I don’t offer any Patreon benefits, and I provide way more direct interaction through my website and Discord… it just feels like it’s time. I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time, and the turn of the new year just feels like a great opportunity to pull the trigger. Obviously I’ll still be making videos and streams and whatever blah blah blah. This isn’t a reflection of my desire to stop making things – if anything I’m hoping that this will rid me of some Patreon Pressure and allow me to create more freely in 2021.

Anyway, I rambled too much about that. Like I said I’m sure I’ll do a longer post or video about it this month to post directly to Patreon before I close it out. The headline news here is New Mystery Tapes tomorrow and a Polar Express stream soon where we all pretend it’s still Christmas.

Happy New Year! I’m actually looking forward to 2021, I’m hoping it will be a great year for me creatively.

Did you guys get anything rad for Christmas?