Big Video Grind / Where da streams?

Well hey there, it’s another post to my blog, would you look at that. Here’s some up-to-date updates!

Back to the Big Bideo

In a previous post I mentioned needing a break from the Big Video for a while, and that I was going to wait until January to pick it back up again. That was a lie, apparently, because I’m back at it. Taking some time away from it to produce a few regular-length videos was the break I needed to get re-engaged, and I’m back in. No idea when it will get done, but I’m hoping that the remainder of the work goes quickly because there are a few other projects I’m not letting myself start until Big Video is done, just because I don’t have the time to do it all.

Hurry Up and Stream Already You Piece of Shit

That’s what I’ve been telling myself in the mirror every morning the past week or so. Really, though, much like any other time I’ve been absent on Twitch, it’s mainly because my efforts are focused elsewhere and there’s only so much time in the day.

I’ve actually just been really into working on videos recently, which tends to cut into the available streaming time a good amount. On top of that, I feel like the more I work on my game dev side project, the less I want to spend time playing games and the more I want to spend time working on them. I think streaming games is a great way for me to feel productive when I’m struggling to produce in other areas, but when I’m feeling super creative Twitch isn’t that appealing to me because I’m not really creating anything when I stream, I’m just playing a game. If I wasn’t so self conscious, I’d stream some more creative work, but alas I am self conscious.

So my plan for streaming in the coming weeks is to finish up Illbleed, and then.. well I’m not sure yet. I’m tempted to try out some non-game streams to see if that sparks some more enthusiasm, but by the time I finish Illbleed my mindset could be totally different, so who knows. We’ll probably talk it out on stream while we’re Illbleeding.

Despite my best efforts and desire to stick to a stream schedule (or any kind of schedule for that matter), it’s never been easy for me. It’s just not how I function. I’m always constantly hopping between ideas, and getting into a groove with one thing makes me really start missing other projects. But I’m not giving up! I’ve actually got yet another stream schedule idea to try out next time we start a fresh series. I’m going to keep trying new things until we I find something that really works.

All that is to say that I hope you forgive me for my absences. It’s not my first time, it’s probably not my last. It’s just the way the Ian crumbles.

Other Projects?

Nothing to show for my other side projects yet, I’m still in pretty early stages. I’m still focusing on Blender and Unity, but lately spending a lot of time with pen-and-paper just writing down/planning out ideas. It turns out that there are a lot of moving parts with game design, and just opening up Unity and saying “I’m gonna make the game!” might not be the best way to go about things. Who knew?

Other than that, though, like I said earlier I’m very much in a video mood. After posting this I’m going to get back to work on Big Video, and then maybe also start working on the Mystery Tapes Christmas Special that I have planned.

Anyway, how have you guys been lately?

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Super pumped for a Christmas special! I always love your Christmas episodes. Maybe for some non-gaming streams you could create something Christmassy, like the gingerbread houses you’ve done in the past? Whatever you do, I’m always here for it. Loved your new vid!

Michael Crosbie

Keep up the awesome work Ian. You’re fans understand you and love your work no matter what, the waiting and spontaneity is a part of the joy of being a follower of the moose.


I agree!
This is the way.


Looking forward to some more illbleeding when the time comes. I work at a chocolate shop and its holiday time during a pandemic, so my availability to catch a stream isn’t really a thing I get to do right now anyway. I’m a big VOD presence during nov/dec.

I loved the most recent brutalfoods, I was having an especially terrible Thanksgiving holiday so thanks for brightening it up. Glad you’re still working on things in the “however the inspiration takes you” kinda way as whatever you do with that energy always turns out great.

Best, L1lSushiR0ll


Wow, what a roller coaster this post is! And how oddly relatable. I’ve personally been working on a Televoid fan game (in a small team) for nearly three years now. And I only now feel like it’s starting to shape out. I’m very excited to finish it! It’s been such a journey, you have no idea! I hope you know, Ian, that your fans will always enjoy what you do! We love you because of how creative you are! And you are creative! Creativity takes a lot of hard work and time, no one blames you for taking the time… Read more »


Good on you for keeping up with your projects! Its a big undertaking multi-tasking so many things at once and trying to learn new things on top of that. I’ve been keeping busy too; trying to draw everyday, rework my portfolio and get resituated with Adobe Illustrator/Photoshop. Good luck on Big Video and the latest Brutalfoods video was great!


Nothing to be sorry for I’d say. You update us on what’s going on and it sounds like you’ve found your passion, which is great! Looking forward to the big video and I love the Christmas specials you do.

Seconding another gingerbread house stream, that was super fun. And Polar Express always holds a soft spot in my heart from one year I was sick and your stream kept me company while I knit a mile of scarf for a present.


good luck on your big video! i think it’s good that you are able to switch between projects and keep things fresh. better to break the schedule a little bit to have room for more creativity, i think. looking forward to the christmas special!

Fat Rat

I really enjoy all your videos, the food reviews hit a spot that I cannot nail down. The funky editing combined with the fx bring it all together. Don’t work too hard, I’ve started working with Unity and it is quite the learning curve. Looking forward to your next production!

Also, I love your shirt in the Instant Holiday Dinner video! Where did you get it?

Last edited 2 years ago by Fat Rat

Ooh, new Mystery Tapes? I hope your work cycle goes well 🙂 I’m hoping to write more in the near future myself, so we’ll see how that goes.

Captain Turnip

Glad to see an update 😀 Keep up the hard work ♥

Sean Stevens

Pretty great! Don’t fret too much on the Streamening. We’ll be here when you’re ready to get back at the Illbleed.


Now that Thanksgiving is over, we all get to put up the lights at a reasonable time and get giddy (or depressed) for upcoming celebrations. Very excited to see what you get out there! One thing I’ve done to feel more productive is to write a letter to myself in the future, whether that be in a month or a year, and ask about how it is further down the road. It sets a goal to reach and an opportunity to compare what life was like then to later, and to take note of how things have gone. Like a… Read more »


Oh, yeah, I guess I have been doing that too! I write a few things down at the beginning of the month to set some goals, and at the end of the month I write down some things I’m proud of myself for, even if they’re totally unrelated to the goals! Because sometimes life just doesn’t work out the way you think it will, but there is always good in there somewhere.


I’m VERY excited for any and all projects, and the big video sounds like something I’ll watch and rewatch 100 times over. Question: is the Christmas Mystery Tapes replacing Gerbert this year? I love the nugget tradition but I wouldn’t mind a change if you’d rather not do one this year.


Hey Ian! Great Update post. I totally get what you mean about the many moving parts of making a game. Writing everything down and getting stuff planned out is so important! My own game project has taken me years to do because I kept coming up with ideas, implementing them, and then cutting it because it didn’t mesh well. Planning everything out ahead of time has been super helpful for me not to do this. Anyway, work on what you want to work on, chase the fun. Very excited to see what you got cookin’!


Sup Ian.

Can’t wait to finally see this big video project. Like even just to know what it is is exciting. You should put out a trailer or something.

Also been loving your re-entry into Brutalfoods. Watching someone eat bad frozen meals is something I have a love-hate relationship with and man, been excellent and I agree – Stouffers Meatloaf is like totally good.


The only thing I think you should be sorry about is if you’ve actually been telling yourself you’re a piece of shit for not streaming. You deserve better!

Your work comes out best when you’re feeling creative and motivated to work on something. Maybe celebrate how productive you’ve been with your videos and game design rather than criticize yourself for not keeping a stream schedule?

Also, it’s the holiday season. A lot of people aren’t all that productive right now. It’s all good. Eat some delicious food and spend time with your loved ones.


game design can be super rough. Working on my thesis right now and while I have a couple years experience, project requirements definitely snowball fast and without you realizing it. Planning is the best way to make sure you don’t need to remake too much so good on you for going that route.

godspeed dude! Game design is a beast

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